typical morning scene. all kids pile on our bed to see baby greta.
i especially like that daddy's changing her diaper on this particular day.
Do you ever make yourself sad thinking of what you'll miss in the future? Even though you have it right in front of you at the moment? I do this all the time as I think about my kids growing older. Especially right now as I watch my (probably) last baby getting bigger by the minute.
The other day I heard Simon yelling from his crib, "mommy .... mommy ... mawwwww-meeeeeeee!" in the wee hours of the morning. For some reason I didn't cringe at the thought of waking up, but I laid there for a few minutes just listening. I thought how someday when our house is empty, I will long for those cries and tiny voices. I will look at photos and videos and think, "where have my babies gone?"
And even though I love them deeply and will miss them terribly when they are grown, how is it so hard to truly enjoy them in the day-to-day life right now? Or is that just the nature of life and time passing quickly? We were looking at videos from 2-3 years ago and I found myself getting sad. Maybe there's no avoiding it. It's a constant battle to live in the present. It's too easy to live in the past or wish for the future ("I'll be happy when...")
I'm not sure where else to go with that thought.
Maybe that's why I'm not blogging much lately. I get random thoughts like these and I want to record them. But then I try to write them (blog them) and they don't seem to make sense.
I want to blog more. I want to sew more.
But I also want to enjoy more and worry less.
I am trying to simplify my life without feeling lazy or complacent.
I want to be busy and have lots of projects, but I don't want to miss the important things (like growing babies).
What a balancing act life is.
The other day I heard Simon yelling from his crib, "mommy .... mommy ... mawwwww-meeeeeeee!" in the wee hours of the morning. For some reason I didn't cringe at the thought of waking up, but I laid there for a few minutes just listening. I thought how someday when our house is empty, I will long for those cries and tiny voices. I will look at photos and videos and think, "where have my babies gone?"
And even though I love them deeply and will miss them terribly when they are grown, how is it so hard to truly enjoy them in the day-to-day life right now? Or is that just the nature of life and time passing quickly? We were looking at videos from 2-3 years ago and I found myself getting sad. Maybe there's no avoiding it. It's a constant battle to live in the present. It's too easy to live in the past or wish for the future ("I'll be happy when...")
I'm not sure where else to go with that thought.
Maybe that's why I'm not blogging much lately. I get random thoughts like these and I want to record them. But then I try to write them (blog them) and they don't seem to make sense.
I want to blog more. I want to sew more.
But I also want to enjoy more and worry less.
I am trying to simplify my life without feeling lazy or complacent.
I want to be busy and have lots of projects, but I don't want to miss the important things (like growing babies).
What a balancing act life is.
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9 comments:
You know you have expressed exactly how I feel, my last baby is now 4 yrs old, I agree how much do we "enjoy" our kids in the now, we are busy working, raising our kids to be good people when they grow up, and then when they are grown we will reminisce about how they were when they were little. Glad to hear I am not the only one with these thoughts at the moment. Fi
Yup, know whatcha mean. They are darling btw.
Super cute little family. I'm glad I am not alone in those feelings. I wish I could tell you it gets easier but my oldest is ten. Right now I love that she finds me cool because I know it is just a matter of time. Such a hard balance! Thank you for the post!
Me too!
Amen!
Whenever I think about becoming an empty nester, it makes me want lots and lots and lots of kids.
Don't stop having babies!!! We just found out that we are expecting #11 and are thrilled!! It can be tough but sooooo worth it!! I say "women were made to have babies!" Keep going, if that's what God has willed for you!! They're gone before you (we) know it-which it looks like you realize that all too well!! Enjoy your little ones, Abby
Sar, I don't know what to say except, "I SO hear you on this one."
You articulated it perfectly.
Thank you for posting this, it is extremely hard to find that balance in life. I'm reading "mitten strings for God" and it's a lovely little book about motherly things, you should check it out if you haven't already :) Greta sure is a sweet girl! xoxo
What a beautiful post. It's funny, Adam and I were just talking about this today, as we were folding a kazillion loads of laundry.
It has been on my mind a lot lately, as my mom and dad watched their last "baby" leave the nest! Now they are alone. And I know, one day, I will be in that place too. And will ask myself - did I do all I could do? Did I love them enough, was I patient enough? Why did I ____ or ____? I know we can just do the best we can do, and the task is daunting at times, but we just need to focus on the present, because that is the only thing we can change.
Tanya (JJG - Josiah's Mommy)
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